'Ultra-Condensed' Philosopher's Stone
September 6, 2003 at 1:32 PM ET
The Leaky Cauldron (via Book-A-Minute)
Samuel Stoddard (which is a name this editor automatically assumes is a pseudoscript) writes a few threadbare lines summing up the most broad themes located in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, and manages to infuse a sense of the comical into this piece as well. It certainly left me gasping for air.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is not just about magic; it is magic, for this single book is mysteriously comprised of two separate texts: there is the printed text that is experienced when the book is read, and there is the secret, more sinister text that is experienced when it is not read. This strange divergence has caused a lot of controversy, but we here at Book-A-Minute maintain the spirit of neutrality and uphold the freedom of personal choice. Rather than forcing our readership to subscribe to one text or the other, we have chosen to condense both versions of the text, thereby permitting concerned parents the choice of which version -- if either -- to read to their children.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
...Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.
Harry, here are some secrets I'm not supposed to tell you.
(saves the world)
Ba-dum, crash! Funny, eh? Included in the rest of above linked article is another, secret version. ;)