"Is quidditch the worst fake sport ever?"

Running simultaneously are: a version of basketball, where players are required to punt a ball called a quaffle through various hoops; a perversion of the kind of bodyline swingball favoured by hyperactive 10-year-old boys, where the aim is simply to whack one of two balls called bludgers at your opponent; and the search for a tiny flying ball called the Golden Snitch, which must be captured for the game to end, and is worth an instant and wildly disproportionate 150 points.

So to clarify, I am required to keep my eye not simply on three balls at any one time, but also on a winged snitch (which is virtually invisible to anyone in the crowd anyway), the capture of which almost without exception renders the preceding however many minutes or hours entirely worthless.